


Pieces of a Shattered Mind

by Hope (Rosalyne)



Series: Supernatural Fics [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bringing back dead Angels/Archangels because I can, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grace Bonds, Hallucinations, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Some spoilers of S9, Trickster Gabriel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:32:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1567967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosalyne/pseuds/Hope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel began his crusade for Purgatory, he saw only good coming out of it. It was for Heaven. He was doing it for the good, unlike Raphael.</p>
<p>Never once it had crossed his mind that from his crusade would emerge an enemy, one that could cost the life of many, including his protégé Dean Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fears

**Author's Note:**

> I've been debating for I don't know how long to post this... This story is un-beta and worse, English isn't my main language! I hope you guys will still enjoy it and if you see any typo, don't hesitate to point them out!
> 
> Anyway... Pieces of a Shattered Mind is by far my favorite of all the stories I've written. The story is as close to the original as it can be, except some to some details. And for some reason, I have 1000 ways of bringing Gabriel back (because he CAN'T be dead, ok?!), so... here's one of them. He's such a crafty SOB that it gives me so many ideas!
> 
> Either way, depending how you guys enjoy this story (which is unfinished, by the way... and won't be until more of S9 is revealed), I'll post more chapters and maybe other side stories.
> 
> Enough with the rambling. Enjoy!  
> Hope

A few things could trouble Sam Winchester more than demons.

First of all: Hell.

Hell had left fear in Sam, fear that couldn’t be translated into words, no matter how hard he tried. Only his brother Dean knew what kind of pain he had been through and could relate to the feeling it left behind.

After Sam fell into the pit of Hell along with Michael in Adam’s body, he was brought back to life by Castiel. Things should have been perfect. They should have been…

But no. There had been a complication: Sam was brought back without a soul. He spent days without caring about others and without looking twice on what he was doing. Without a soul, the young Winchester was nothing but a killing machine, a lying bastard and a cunning killer, not the hunter he had once been. Worse, he started to enjoy this situation and never wanted to go back to the old Sam Winchester, finding the idea troublesome more than anything.

But his brother had had enough. Knowing he had no other choice, Dean requested the help of Death, the horseman of the Apocalypse, who had had enough of Lucifer’s childish games. Tired of dealing with the fallen archangel’s petty war of Hell, Death accepted Dean’s. He gave Sam back what had been left behind in the pit.

Sam’s soul was finally restored, but not without a heavy cost.

During the time Sam’s soul remained in the cage, Lucifer and Michael had unleashed their rage and frustration on it for years on end. Time passed by differently in Hell than on Earth. Years of torturing on his soul, of playing the worse games to tear it to pieces and of inflict so much pain and misery, had left it severely maimed. From the moment Death pulled Sam’s soul out of the cage, he knew it was suicide to give Sam back his soul without a protection.

As a favour to Dean, Death put a wall up in front of Sam’s mind, protecting the young man from the rebound effect of his tortured soul now living in him. Dean was told to never tell Sam what he had done while soulless. But on his own, Sam learned of his fate and tried to remember more. And more he remembered, worse his nightmares became.

His soul lurching inside him, twisted and broken, Sam’s nightmares began to surface during his day to day. More time passed by, more his nightmares became real, torturing him as he walked, the images of Lucifer coming forth in daylight at any time to conflict his judgement, altering reality as he knew.

He barely had the time to regain control over himself, finding relief in the reality of physical pain when the angel’s quest for purgatory started.

Castiel’s crusade to fight Raphael and win Heaven over him required the opening of the long forgotten place called purgatory. Purgatory was a place where monsters and beings unspoken of were locked away. God had decided so because of how dangerous those beings were. Souls of the condemned and the wicked beasts remained trapped in purgatory for eternity. But Castiel wanted more souls, _needed_ more power in order to become a God so he could defeat the archangel Raphael.

But no one would have expected him to act the way he did, not even Dean.

Out of his mind, ready to do anything to finish his crusade, Castiel brought down the wall protecting Sam’s mind. This way, he meant to prove Dean that once he would get the souls from purgatory, he could heal Sam.

But it never happened.

The suffering Sam’s soul had endured in the hands of Lucifer and Michael in the cage was released full force on him. At the moment his soul was bare was, Sam found out what he feared the most.

_Fallen archangels.  
_


	2. As I Lay, Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Sam's wall is broken, Dean is desperate to find a way to help his brother.

Sam sat up with a start in his bed, his ears drumming painfully as the constant sound of a poorly played violin woke him up. His eyes were blood red, dry and hurting, even more as he blinked at the bright light of his room. His head was pounding. Pulsing. It was an awful feeling.

The horrible screeching sound of the violin suddenly stopped, a low chuckle replacing it.

“Sam, Sam, Sam… You don’t enjoy my new hobby? I figured you would. After all, you are a fan of art and music.”

Sam didn’t need to turn to look at the speaker. He knew. He had been haunted by this voice for days now.

Still in Nick’s body, Lucifer was sitting on the desk near the hunter’s bed, smiling innocently as he pulled on the cords of his instrument, forcing more strident, annoying, infernal noises from the violin. The charred skin still sizzled even after so long, the vessel struggling to keep the archangel inside, as Lucifer’s true vessel had never been the poor Nick but Sam Winchester.

Sam knew no matter what he would say, Lucifer would keep playing. So the sick and drained hunter sat on the bed, his head leaning forward, his face hidden behind his sweaty palms.

And as restless as he was, the fallen archangel continued his torture and played.

Disturbing and relentless, the sounds coming out of the violin filled the room, and Lucifer yet again ignored Sam’s pain.

All of this was driving the young Winchester crazy.

And Lucifer knew it.

So Lucifer kept on playing, more and more.

 

Dean walked in his brother’s room, eyes falling on Sam’s unmoving body and shivering eyelids. Behind him were standing Castiel and the recently reborn archangel, Gabriel. They stared at the unconscious Winchester with concern.

After the failed attempt at opening purgatory by both Castiel and Raphael, Gabriel had shown up. They had all thought him dead, killed by Lucifer. Only, the archangel’s power had been given back to him by God in full and more, which had allowed Gabriel to overthrow Raphael in battle and defeat him with his angel blade.

Then, Gabriel brought Castiel back home. The young angel was broken, filled with guilt from the actions he had committed against humanity, those which had led to nothing but failure. When the archangel tried to go back for the demon Crowley – who had associated with Raphael to open purgatory and in the process had betrayed Castiel – he wasn’t so lucky. His plan to end the demon was side-tracked by his disappearance. Crowley had left without a word. For a week Gabriel tried to find the King of Hell, but without success. Crowley didn’t want to be found. He was good at hiding and would stay hidden for as long as he wanted to.

When Gabriel came back to Castiel and the Winchester brothers, he knew something else was wrong. When he entered the young hunter’s room he frowned. He stared at Sam in silence. Without looking at his brothers, he looked at the sleeping hunter and pressed his hand against Sam’s chest, reading the pain in the man’s body and seeing the soul’s devastating state it had been left in.

The young man’s tortured soul was screaming, aching.

Gabriel could feel it. The damage left behind by the torture made him sick. He wanted nothing more than head back to Hell and join both Lucifer and Michael in the cage to destroy them himself, a thousand times if necessary and another life time.

“How long had he been unconscious?” Gabriel asked through clenched teeth, moving his hand up to touch Sam’s jaw, feeling the boiling skin there.

“Three weeks. His condition is getting worse,” Castiel answered with obvious guilt in his voice. “This is my fault…”

Dean moved to stand by Gabriel’s side, ignoring completely the young angel in the room. “Can you do something?”

Gabriel sighed deeply. “His soul is damaged. Mangled. It’s not beyond hope, though. Sam is holding on and he wants to live. It will help us as long as he keeps fighting.”

Dean sighed, nodding at the archangel. “Please, help him. _Save_ him.”

Gabriel looked up to the elder Winchester and smiled sadly, understanding his pain; he had lost many sisters and brothers to horrible things as well. Maybe being reborn had taught him a lesson as well. Besides, he liked the young Winchester and didn’t wish to see him die like this. “I’ll do my best. Just give me time.”

Dean and Castiel left the room, leaving Gabriel with Sam behind them. Dean walked in the corridor in silence, his shoulders feeling heavy and his head hurting. Since the fatidic moment, he had barely gotten any sleep. Sam’s situation was eating him inside out. All of this, he didn’t know how he could deal with it anymore. Sam had to live, or Dean wouldn’t survive losing his brother again.

After a moment, he heard someone following him as he made his way to his room. Dean turned to see Castiel standing not too far.

“Why are you here, Cas?” Anger and pain laced his voice as he spoke. They weren’t in good terms since Castiel’s actions that lead to Sam’s coma. In fact, they had barely spoken at all. Dean did everything he could to ignore Castiel.

The angel bowed his head in shame, knowing very well his faults and accepting them. “I want to help you and Sam.”

Dean’s face twisted in anger. “You want to help? Then _leave_.” When Castiel flinched, he laughed darkly. If the angel was hurt, let him be! It didn’t seem to matter to Castiel when he had removed the wall from Sam’s mind, so why should Dean even bother about the pain he inflicted to the angel? “All of this, it’s _your_ fault man! You tried to open purgatory and threatened _my_ family when we wanted to stop you from destroying yourself! You’ve hurt my brother, Cas. I want you to leave.” When Castiel refused to move, Dean yelled loud, “Get out, _now_!”

Never blinking, Castiel nodded and disappeared, the sound of wings echoing in the corridor. Dean walked into his room, sighing deeply as his shoulders sagged. He leaned back against the wall beside his door, exhausted. Shaky hands lifted up to his face, scratching at his skin and rubbing on his temples yet in vain as his mind kept racing over everything. The responsibilities of his family, the ones left behind by his father John, weighted heavily on him. He had let his brother down because he had trusted an angel, one who had turned his back on him long enough to backstab him. And now, he had lost a friend and a brother.

Dean closed the door then walked to his bed, dropping flat on his stomach on the mattress in the darkness, hoping sleep would soon find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The violin idea came to me while watching Sherlock BBC, when Sherlock plays it to piss off Mycroft. It was adorable :)


	3. The Shadow and the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel's work begins.

Sam was sitting in the Impala, driving and hoping he could get away from the pain. It had been quite a feat to take the car away from Dean, but his brother had been busy with Castiel. The moment his brother turned his back, Sam had taken the car and left for a ride.

He needed some time alone. His mind was drifting toward the events of the pit, how he had ended up saying yes to Lucifer and then fought against the control. Winning over the archangel had given him hope that they could save the world. But he had had no other choice; Lucifer had been so strong that Sam knew he had to jump. Sacrificing himself to the pit, dragging along Michael in Adam’s body, had been the only logical decision at the time. There had been no other way.

“I still don’t know _why_ you wanted to kill me.”

Sam nearly shrieked as he heard _his_ voice. His foot hit the break, tires screeching in complain as the car came to a sudden and too fast stop. Dean would have his head for it, even more if he had an accident with his baby.

When he looked beside him, Sam saw the fallen archangel sitting in the seat. His eyes widened, his throat constricting in pain as he took in Lucifer. “Why are you following me?”

Lucifer frowned mockingly, as if he was insulted by the question, his voice sounding as if he was scolding a child, “Sam, I don’t know why you’re asking. I thought it was obvious!”

Sam opened his mouth to say something but decided to close it before glaring in silence at the archangel. Exasperated in front of his lack of answer, Lucifer rolled his eyes.

“I’ve never left you, Sammy. I’ve _always_ been inside you. I _am_ you.”

The young Winchester’s eyes narrowed at the words and he pressed his lips together in anger. This was absurd. This had to stop. “I’m dreaming.”

“Of course you are,” laughed Lucifer, grinning.

“Then _why_ can’t I make you go _away_!” Sam screamed back in anger.

“Because you’re in a coma.”

At the new voice, Sam turned to look at the backseat of the Impala and gasped, “…Gabriel?”

The honey-browned haired archangel smiled at him, his hazelnut eyes sparkling with gentleness and that same wickedness that always shone deep within them. “Hey kiddo.”

Lucifer groaned, rolling his eyes and his head on his shoulders. “Great! Now I have to deal with _my_ brother.”

Gabriel looked at Lucifer, eyes hard and angry, his jaw tightening lightly before he snapped his fingers in his typical manner. Then, the archangel was sitting by Sam’s side the second after.

“We should be fine for a few minutes.” Gabriel looked at Sam, from head to toes, his eyes finally holding the hunter’s questioning stare. “Here’s the deal, Samsquatch: Castiel removed the wall protecting your soul from Lucifer and Michael’s beating in the cage and that’s why my ‘brother’ is torturing you.” The archangel made quotes with his fingers.

The young hunter frowned at this, confused. “Why do I see _you_? Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

Gabriel grinned, waggling his eyebrows in his typical seductive manner before he sighed, “Long story short; God brought me back. I must watch over you, heal your soul. But this takes time and you must hold on.” He reached forward and put his hand on Sam’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly, his expression turning grave. “Listen to me, Sam. Lucifer is a _hallucination_. He will come back to haunt you because of all the pain your soul had been through. It won’t stop, not until I heal it fully. Just… don’t give up. _Keep_ fighting. Do whatever you can to hold on to that thought.”

The sound of a long annoyed groan reached them from behind the Impala. “This is _so_ pathetic. And boring.”

The two front seat passengers looked at Lucifer who seemed bored out of his mind. Sam sighed. “So he’s part of my imagination?”

“He’s linked to your soul somehow, because of all the damage he had done and well… you two shared your body once. But he’s not _real_.” Gabriel glared at his brother, angry, receiving a grin in return from Lucifer and a mocking wave of a hand. “I will take care of him and you will come back to us, Sam.”

“Thanks Gabriel,” Sam sighed, giving the angel a tight smile.

“Just buy me chocolate once you’re out of your coma.” At those words, Gabriel winked at him then disappeared.

_Remember; he’s_ not _real._

Gabriel’s words in his mind echoed loud and clear and Sam knew he had to fight. He would fight.

 

A few days passed before Gabriel finally walked out of Sam’s room. He looked drained and pale, but Dean noticed the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“How is he?”

Gabriel sighed, sitting down on the chair in front of the elder hunter. “Sam is recovering well now. His soul is mostly mended, but I am too tired and out of juice to do any more.” He looked around, then back at Dean with a frown. “Where’s my little brother?”

Dean cleared his throat, standing up quickly. “We had a… discussion. I asked him to leave.”

Gabriel’s mouth opened in a gasp, a tired and bewildered expression settling on his usually amused features. “Why?” The angel’s honey eyes held Dean’s, as if daring him to stop his actions. “I’m calling him.”

Dean ignored him, knowing he couldn’t fight Gabriel even if he tried, and left the archangel to go see his brother. He could hear Gabriel call out Castiel’s name loud, requesting his presence and help.

Dean was gone when Castiel appeared in front of Gabriel. Standing with his back straight and a curious look on his face, the young angel asserted his brother, cocking his head to the side at what he saw. “Gabriel, you look drained.”

The archangel grinned at the comment, nodding despite how heavy his head felt. “How observant of you, Cassie! But at least, Sam is now out of danger. I’ve healed his soul enough to erase our brothers’ mangling. It’s scarring right now. Only, I can’t help the process; I’m almost out of juice.”

Without hesitation, Castiel walked closer to his brother and put his hand on his left shoulder. The simple contact allowed him to transfer some of his strength to Gabriel, who took it with a wide welcoming smile. Light shone in the link through Castiel’s fingertips, transferring slowly in the archangel’s grace. Though they were of different ranks, it didn’t matter to the honey-brown haired man. Gabriel knew that his brother was stronger than anyone would ever see. Maybe except Dean, he admitted. Dean Winchester knew that Castiel was different than most angels. He had seen the strength.

“Do you need my help with Sam?” Castiel asked while withdrawing his hand.

“Castiel, you should go speak with Dean.” Gabriel frowned, his hands grasping at the arms of his chair. “I can take care of Sam by myself; it’s my task. I must help him hold on. He’s seeing Luci, and it’s not good…”

Castiel cocked his head to the side, the shadow of a pained expression crossing his face. Someone not often around the angel wouldn’t have seen it, but Gabriel couldn’t help but notice. “Why do you wish me to speak with Dean?”

Gabriel stood up, his energy replenished after Castiel’s help. He drew himself closer and made sure that Dean wasn’t close. “Castiel, I _know_ what’s happening. I’m not blind.”

The floor disrobed beneath Castiel’s feet at his brother’s words, but again, he tried to keep his cool and ignored the sentiment. More he stayed among the Winchester, harder it was to ignore his human feelings. It was far worse that now his vessel was part of him. Without Jimmy Novak’s soul protecting him from taking full control of the body, Castiel found his heart and soul reacting more and more to the elder hunter’s presence.

“Why don’t you tell him?” Gabriel lowered his voice, giving him a painful smile. “I can see how he lo-”

“Gabriel, stop.” Castiel’s voice was raspy and gravelly, louder than necessary, but he didn’t want to see any argument come from his brother.

They looked in each other’s eyes for a moment in silence before Gabriel sighed. Shaking his head, the archangel made his way toward the corridor where Sam’s room was. “At least, I know how _I_ feel.” Gabriel turned to look at Castiel once he was at the door before opening it, resting his hand on the handle, “and I don’t intend to lose him a second time.”

The door closed without another word from the archangel, leaving Castiel alone with his thought.


	4. Threads of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel's work continues. But something happens he hadn't expected...

Dean felt rather useless and powerless in front of Sam’s predicament. He sat by his younger brother’s side as Gabriel ‘recharged his batteries’, for once praying that his brother returned to him with his sane mind. Fingers linked together in front of his mouth, the hunter kept his green eyes opened and on his brother, thinking of the way they had ended up here, and why.

Of late, Dean had been wondering if he shouldn’t have said something different to Castiel so they didn’t have to deal with Sam’s tormenting nightmares. What if he had said to Castiel ‘do what you want, and just come back when you’re done’ instead of trying to stop him? Perhaps Sam wouldn’t have to fight with the devil in his mind.

When Gabriel had mention Sam’s inner struggle against Lucifer, Dean hadn’t felt much better. If Sam had had a hard time dealing with him as awake, it could only be worse in dreams. Dean remembered far too vividly the nightmares of Hell coming back, haunting him for days and still doing so occasionally of late, and how helpless he had been when they took over him. After every nightmare, Dean would open his eyes and felt as if he had done those horrible things over and over again, torturing those poor souls and worse, taking pleasure in doing it. Nothing could stop the guilt.

Something surprised him though; Gabriel had decided to help them. Dean had to admit, he had begged the archangel to save his brother. Gabriel could have said no and play with them, find another reason to flee like the other times, pretexting that Sam was human and that he didn’t care about his fate. Instead, Gabriel had said yes, without a second thought or ulterior motives.

Whatever the trickster had done to them in the past, Dean would never forget. But he could say now that he owed the archangel a lot for saving Sam from the corruption in his soul.

“Deano, it’s best if you step outside,” Gabriel said behind him as he walked in the room.

Turning his head to the side, Dean released a heavy sigh and stretched his tired limbs as he stood up. “Yeah, I guess.” He put his hand on Gabriel’s shoulder and squeezed it amicably, “I’ll leave you to your work, Shorty.”

Gabriel nodded, ignoring the name calling or just putting aside a note in his mind to make Dean pay later. Dean didn’t care much at this point. If the trickster wanted to use him as a piñata for a few days as payment for Sam’s recovery, hell, Dean would let him do it.

 

Once alone, Gabriel sat on the bed and put his hands on Sam’s face, one on each side, thumbs resting against the young hunter’s jaw. He murmured the same words than he had been whispering the last few days whenever he walked in this room to heal Sam’s soul. As if responding to him, Sam’s soul sought out for the light of his grace, like the hand of a drowning man in a lake, and latched upon it with so much veracity that it pulled Gabriel forward, forcing him to lean his body until his forehead was pressed on Sam’s chest.

Gabriel was barely aware what his body was doing as he entered Sam’s mind, drifting through the thread of his soul with easiness, knowing every corner of it. The black edges were almost gone. He could feel the taint left behind by Lucifer and Michael finally fading, almost gone. He travelled through the limbs of Sam’s memories and found himself in a large field filled with burgeoning flowers.

Sam was on the Impala, resting his back against the top of it, legs bent up and his eyes closed as he enjoyed the calm, relaxing sun of his dream. Gabriel’s lips twisted up in a smile as he made his way toward the young man.

“Hey kiddo,” he said, drawing Sam’s attention to him, forcing the hunter to sit up and turn so he could see Gabriel.

Sam cocked his head to the side, taking in the archangel, “Are you the real Gabriel or is… _Lucifer_ tricking me again?”

Gabriel put his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels as he gave the Winchester a tiny smirk, “Do we play a game so you know it’s really me?”

“He can read my mind, so… that’s not really going to work.” Even now Sam had a hard time saying the fallen archangel’s name, as if it pained him to do so.

“Good point kiddo,” Gabriel sighed, putting a hand behind his head to scratch his neck, then snapped his fingers, an idea coming to his mind. “Aside of Luci showing off his real face, how did you know it was him?”

Sam frowned, thoughtful, one hand pressed against his mouth before he spoke, “When he touched me it felt… terrifying.”

As cold shiver ran down Gabriel’s spine, “When he touched you?”

At the seriousness in the archangel’s voice, Sam looked up again and pressed his lips together, nodding sharply. “If he… got close to me, he would hurt me, physically.”

Gabriel’s eyes closed as he concentrated on the memories of this pain left behind on Sam and forced himself to stay straight, his body nearly staggering back at the sharp knife-like feel it press through him. It was almost as intense as the sensation of an angel blade piercing his body.

“Sam,” Gabriel whispered, getting the hunter’s attention again, taking in the pained hazel-nut eyes staring back at him, “do you want to forget those nightmares? The pain?”

Sam swallowed, looking away, eyes falling on the distance and the blue sky of his dream that was slowly becoming less and less visible as grey clouds spread on its surface. He stared, thoughtful. Gabriel had this nasty feeling that Sam didn’t trust him.

Gabriel walked closer, slowly, as if he was approaching a scared animal. He could feel hear the young Winchester think and felt torn inside at how hurt Sam was. “Sam,” he repeated the hunter’s name. When he got his attention again, Gabriel lifted both hands up on each side of him. “Would you allow me to help you?”

With a sigh, Sam shrugged in defeat, “Go on, do your worse.” When Gabriel moved until he was standing in front of him, the hunter lowered his legs so that they could be closer. “It’s not like I can stop you anyway…”

Gabriel gave him a little smile, moving his hands up to reach Sam’s face. “I would never hurt you, kiddo. I promise.” At Sam’s sudden glare, he winced at the memory of how many times he had _actually_ hurt the young Winchester, emotionally, when killing Dean over and over and groaned, rolling his eyes, “ _Well_ I will never hurt you again.” Gabriel forced an apologetic smile on his lips as he pressed his fingertips on Sam’s squared jaw.

Hazelnut eyes fluttered closed, as if expecting any sort of pain from the touch. When the warm and comfortable basking light of the archangel Gabriel suddenly filled him, Sam sighed, his hands reaching up toward the man in front of him, grabbing hold of his shoulders with obvious desperation.

Gabriel forced the nightmares and pain away, replacing it by the comfortable and happy memories he could find in the bright shining corners of Sam’s mind. Most of them were related to the hunter’s youth and his life with Dean. He caught a few glimpse of their father, John, but there were few of them. The next memories were related to Jessica, the woman Sam had been with during Stamford. A few other women as well, very few of them, but one that remained at the top; a dark haired pretty one, Amelia.

Funny how a human made the archangel jealous, wasn’t it? Whatever Sam had felt for that woman, it had been real. Gabriel couldn’t blame the young man either. She had seemed nice and simple, the kind that would please the soft and tender side of Sam Winchester.

Frowning, Gabriel kept on pushing through the memories, still feeling the darkness cloaking Sam’s mind and was more than surprised at who he saw next. Gabriel, as the archangel, not as the trickster. Unsure if he had seen right, Gabriel probed deeper in that memory and nearly let go of it, but found his grace so deeply linked in the human’s soul that it was impossible.

_Gabriel…_

The archangel slowly opened his eyes and realised the voice had been in his head. Swallowing deeply, Gabriel knew what was happening and nearly reeled back at the thought. Forgetting what he had been doing, he let his hands dropped from Sam’s face and took a step back, the hunter’s hands falling off his shoulders.

When Sam tried to reach out and touch him again, Gabriel shook his head, throwing him a warning look. “Sammy, that’s… you don’t _know_ what you’re doing.” His voice was so hoarse he barely recognised himself. He cleared his throat, doing his best to put up his poker face once again, “The pain should be gone. I’ll-”

“Gabriel,” Sam interrupted him, his voice warm and enticing, and it was enough to make the archangel fall quiet.

Standing up from the Impala’s hood, Sam moved toward him, closing in the distance between them with a few slow strides of his long legs. Frozen on the spot, Gabriel was unable to stop him when Sam caught hold of his shirt and pulled their bodies close.

Gabriel’s eyes widened and he barely had time to say a strangled _“Sam”_ that the hunter had his lips sealed upon his. There was no innocence and doubt in the kiss. It was hot, needy and possessive, as if it was never enough for Sam. It was hard to grab hold of reason for him when all he had been craving for lately was _Sam_. He fought, his hands reaching up to push the taller man weakly at first, as if he possessed no power, no strength, forgetting anything that he was in an instant. But it didn’t last long. His fingers quickly tightened around the hunter’s shirt and pulled as the archangel caved in with a groan, thinking about nothing but _Sam_.

Sam’s hands moved to the smaller man’s waist, pulling him forward against his chest, ignoring anything but the way they fit together. He wanted to cradle Gabriel against him, never let go of the way he made him feel. It felt so good, so _perfect_. His pain was gone, all of it, and Sam never thought it would ever happen. If Gabriel could achieve this, Sam never intended to give up on the archangel.

When Sam took a step back, swiftly turning around to sit Gabriel on the hood of the Impala before laying him back against it, the archangel all but moaned in answer and felt his resolve dissolve. Keeping one hand on Gabriel’s waist, his other one sank in the honey-brown mane, he tilted Gabriel’s head just enough so he could drink out of his mouth.

All but drowning in the overload of sensations, Gabriel’s hands pulled hard on Sam’s hair in return as the hunter bit at his lips between kisses, driving Gabriel on the edge of insanity. The sounds coming out of Sam were enough to make him forget _everything_. Forget that all this was just a dream for Sam. Forget that Sam was acting this way because of his grace. The young hunter was feeding on it, as if he couldn’t breathe without the grace. Part of Gabriel knew it was wrong, that they were bonding and maybe it was too late already to stop, but he craved to give in completely. For once in his long, eternal life time, he wanted to anchor himself to another being.

When Sam’s large frame suddenly pressed him and trapped him beneath his body, Gabriel felt panic seize him. As much as he wanted this, he had to stop. His libido was screaming at him to let go while the rational part of his mind still working refused to give up. With as much strength and self-power he could muster, Gabriel pushed on Sam’s shoulders and separated their lips.

“Sam – _stop now Sam_!” The hunter was chasing his lips with a groan the moment they were gone, and Gabriel was on the verge to give in again when he decided to use his remaining option.

With a snap of his fingers, he was gone from beneath the hunter and standing a few feet apart. Sam fell forward, hands in the same position they had been, only holding nothing but air. His eyes widened in surprise before he turned and faced Gabriel.

The archangel lifted his hand up as he saw Sam twist his tall body around, knowing that he would be in trouble soon enough if he didn’t stop this. “I can’t, Sam. _You_ can’t.”

“This isn’t real Gabriel,” Sam countered, frowning, “unless you’ve lied to me?”

Gritting his teeth together Gabriel shook his head, “I didn’t but… you have to understand, kiddo… I’m in your mind with my _grace_. It’s almost as intimate as sex.”

Sam lifted an eyebrow, “And?”

With an exasperate sigh, Gabriel pressed a hand in front of his forehead, “You’re thick-headed, Samsquatch.” Biting the inside of his cheek, he made up his mind. “I can’t let you remember this.”

“What?” Sam stood up, moving off the Impala’s hood and toward the archangel.

Alarmed, Gabriel snapped his fingers.

 

Gabriel gasped as he opened his eyes, his hands falling off the unconscious’ hunter’s face. He stared at Sam, unable to forget how real it had felt to him. While leaving Sam’s mind, he had erased that last bit of memory, knowing the hunter was only acting like that because of the grace. The kiss and the way they had nearly tore at each other’s clothes had left Gabriel aching, on some kind of high because of how deep the link between them had gotten. Despite how willing Sam had seemed to be, the hunter didn’t know exactly why he was acting like this.

Gabriel was aware that a bond could form between them, and that already, he was too late to stop it. Still, he could make it not as deep and Sam wouldn’t know it even existed. He would deal with pain on his side but he was well aware of it, and had no other choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mention of Lucifer hurting Sam is really pain from the damage he had caused to his soul while it was in the cage. Physical as in hurting with the archangel sword.


	5. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wakes up. Gabriel is there to welcome him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update! Thanks for the kudos, I appreciate it a lot, it gives me an extra motivation on working on this fic :-)  
> I've been working on a few side-stories, other ideas of how our favorite trickster-archangel could come back in the Winchester's life. Eventually, I'll post them ;) In the meantime, enjoy!

A week after Gabriel’s last intervention, Sam Winchester finally opened his eyes. The hunter blinked slowly, struggling faintly to breathe in, as if someone had kept him from doing it for far too long. His lungs filled with air, leaving a pain stinging in before it faded as he exhaled. The air was warm against his lips. His head was heady and his eyelids heavy. It was like his body refused to shake off from the sleep, his consciousness drifting between reality and dream.

When the world stopped spinning, Sam widened his eyes, taking in his surroundings; he was in his room at the bunker, alone. Tentatively, he moved one hand at first, then the second, stretching his fingers before bending them at the knuckles. His muscles reacted slower than normal but better than he remembered and expected. When his arms didn’t hurt from the movements, he sat up in his bed, sighing in relief. He pulled the sheet off him, swinging his legs off the edge of his bed.

With a sleepy groan, Sam brought both hands up to his face, scrubbing the heavy sleep off his still tired muscles. How long had he been sleeping? He had a vague idea he had been for a while.  It still felt like yesterday that he started to have those nightmares, Lucifer’s torture. And the dreams, Gabriel’s presence in his mind, soothing away the pain…

“Glad to see you with us again, kiddo.”

At the voice, Sam looked up to find Gabriel standing in front of him, leaning against the door, smiling. The hunter smiled back, his dried lips hurting lightly as he did. “Hey Gabe.”

As if reading his mind –Sam was pretty sure the archangel could read his mind anytime he wanted – Gabriel conjured a glass of water for him with a snap of his fingers. “You must be thirsty. There.”

“Are you reading my mind?” he asked, levelling the drink up to his mouth.

The ex-trickster winked at him with his typical smug grin, “Not reading your mind but I figured you would need it.”

Sam chuckled, shaking his head at Gabriel’s attitude. It felt good to be out of the nightmares. No more awake hallucinations of Lucifer talking to him, taunting him constantly with whatever he could find to keep Sam from living a normal life.

Eagerly, the hunter drank the offered water. Perfect, pure  and cold water. It felt so good against his lips and down his throat. Sam closed his eyes, enjoying every second of it. When he opened them again, he found the glass wasn’t even empty; it was still full.

“Perks of an archangel turned trickster,” Gabriel chuckled seeing Sam’s wide eyes.

Sam nodded, drinking some more before putting the glass by his bed. “Gabriel, I can’t thank you enough.” He lifted a hand up to his hair, scratching the back of his neck. That’s when he realised something; if he had slept that long, he needed something _very_ important that shouldn’t be neglected; shower. “Not that I don’t enjoy this conversation but… I need a shower.”

Gabriel lifted an eyebrow question, “Why? I made sure you stayed clean during the month you were out. You know, trickster?”

The young hunter gaped in surprise, but not for the same reason Gabriel thought. “I was gone a _month_!?”

“Yeah, about a month.” Gabriel moved away from the wall to go sit by Sam’s side. “I wasn’t with you the entire time but for most of it. Luci and Michael did one hell of a job on you, kiddo. Took a lot of my mojo – and Cas’ too – to fix you. It’s a surprise that it only took that little of time for you to recover.” When he was done talking, the archangel lied back on the bed, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

Sam nodded, turning to look at the archangel lying on his bed sheets, taking in the sight. He had to admit, he had missed the smaller man. As much as the trickster had been a pain in the ass – after all, he did kill Dean over and over for a hundred if not more time just for fun, or made them play in some stupid television show where they had to play their role – Gabriel the archangel wasn’t the _same_ as on their first encounter.

Gabriel was a good archangel, with a heart and with a conscience, no matter how loud he tried to deny it. He had helped them, sacrificing himself. The day that Gabriel died at Lucifer’s hands had left Sam with a sour taste of defeat and misunderstanding. It had felt as if something had gone missing when the archangel had died.

Shaking himself out of the thoughts – because now Gabriel was back and Lucifer wasn’t flooding his mind and reality with hallucinations and nightmares – Sam stood up from the bed. “Do you know where Dean is?”

Gabriel laughed behind him, “He’s probably outside, getting groceries.” When Sam lifted an eyebrow at the still laying archangel, Gabriel propped himself on his elbows, giving a charming smirk at the young man he had been charged to protect by God. “Your brother refuses to eat the food I conjure.”

“Not surprising,” Sam snorted, allowing himself a grin. It was all Dean. Magic tricks weren’t his thing. “I’m even surprised that he lets you stay here.”

“He has no saying in it.” Chuckling, Gabriel pushed himself off the bed until he was standing in front of Sam, a few inches away. He gazed up, giving the young Winchester with his usual wicked smile.

“Why’s that?”

“Because if he tries to kick me out, I’ll come back.” The archangel smile’s smile softened. “Even the _great_ Dean Winchester can’t take me away from my charge.”

“Your charge – _Wait_. What?” Sam’s confusion made Gabriel laugh. “You mean, _I’m_ your charge? Is that why you’re back?”

“You were always the smartest one of the lot, Sammykins.” Gabriel patted him on his arm in a friendly manner. “I’ve been tasked by Dad to watch over you. Just like my bro is watching over your brother. Though right now…”

At the archangel’s tone and doubtful face expression on his last words, Sam couldn’t help but frown. “Is it because of what Cas did? Because I’m fine now, and Cas didn’t mean to hurt me. I’m sure there was a reason behind his actions.”

“Oh, there was. He tried to tell Dean-o but…” Gabriel shrugged, hands opening up to the ceiling in defeat, a look of exasperation on his face behind his trickster-grin, “Your brother is an asshole. Little bro tried to make him understand and even excused himself many times. Still, Dean-o is _pissed_ and won’t talk to him. He’s playing the ‘ignore Castiel’ game.” He quoted with his fingers in the air.

“Idiot,” sighed Sam, shaking his head, bringing one hand up to his forehead. “I swear he’s giving me more headache than Lucifer ever did.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened at this, his expression mocking and totally fake, “ _That_ much? Even more than little ol’ _me_?”

Sam dropped his hand, putting them both on his hips. “Well, you’ve given me a few, but I understand why now. You’re not _that_ bad.”

“That’s so nice of you Samsquatch!” Grinning, Gabriel opened his arms and took a step forward, surprisingly the tall hunter with a bear hug. Sam huffed in answer, his jaw tightening at the sudden move. “You’re making my insides all gooey!”

Sam’s arms were stuck on his sides by Gabriel’s strong hold, preventing him from moving even if he tried his best. The archangel’s strength was undeniable, even though the height and size of his vessel considered. His cheeks reddened, an awkward but not unwelcomed emotion suddenly bubbling inside him. It felt all so familiar that Sam didn’t feel like pushing the smaller man off him and left Sam a little startled. Realising how awkward the silence of the room was, he eventually cleared his throat, chuckling lightly in an attempt at dismissing the revelation that suddenly surfaced in his mind.

“Yeah, okay, I get it! You’re happy.” When Gabriel looked up, giving Sam a look of obvious self-satisfaction, the hunter rolled his eyes. He had to act with detachment, if he wanted to ignore the flare of heat creeping up the back of his neck from Gabriel’s position. The archangel’s chin was almost resting on his chest as he gazed up at him, his bright golden eyes dancing with a flame of sheer amusement. “Come on Gabe, let me go so I can go see my idiot of a brother.”

Gabriel pouted lightly at the demand before the expression was replaced by a wicked grin. “Before you leave… Let’s have a chat.”

Sam frowned, fidgeting. What is it that the archangel had to say? “Huh, what about?”

“About _our_ brothers…” The trickster’s grin was back, stretching on Gabriel’s lips, announcing anything but a good omen.

Eyes widening at the sight, Sam looked at the bed, deciding it was better to sit down for this.


	6. A King in Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction of a very special character, one of my own creation!  
> Also, using purgatory and Abaddon with a slight twist/change vs what you saw in the show.
> 
> Sorry for the late update :( I can't seem to put my mind on what to write/update recently. With the new season coming up, I'm more than eager to write about demon!Dean myself. I've got a few ideas that includes him...
> 
> Either way, enjoy this chapter!

Castiel’s favourite spot on Earth was a large valley bare of any trees. Green grass and flowers spread all around him, the sight reminding him of what his heaven looked like whenever he visited heaven. It was peaceful, unlike many other places he had visited. To one end of the valley was a view that could baffled many visitors, whoever he had allowed to come with him; a lake filled with the purest of all blue water lied still, the sun reflecting beneath its depth whenever it was high in the sky.

But there was no sun right now, only the moon. The other end of the valley was more eerie than anything at this time of the day. A forest made of tall trees that could appear as living if one stared at them for too long, trees that extended to an appearing infinite length. Despite the lack of light coming from the moon, Castiel could still see the forest as in the daylight. Right now, he refused to allow his senses to soothe the vision given by the darkness of the night.

Of late, he had visited his peaceful paradise more often during night than day. Gabriel called him foolish, but Castiel considered this as a punishment. After all he had done to Dean and Sam, the angel was against all comfort. He refused to seek his peace with the world until Dean forgave him or until Sam woke up.

So, not unlike yesterday and the days before, Castiel stood in the middle of the valley and looked upon the lake. He allowed himself a brief moment to himself, and breathed in the cold air of the night and let it burn in his lungs.

“Castiel.”

It came from behind him. The angel turned around to face the speaker and frowned in recognition. “Hope?”

A woman wearing a long white dress with silver threaded thin sleeves smiled at him, her dark hazelnuts eyes shining in the night. “I knew you would recognise me.”

Castiel cocked his head to the side in his typical manner, confused at why the woman was showing herself after so long of hiding. “How come you’re here?”

Hope walked toward him, her waist length hair moving in the wind. “I need your help, Castiel.” The sound of crows could be heard in the distance, and Castiel saw three bird land behind the woman as she stopped a foot away from him. “It’s about my father.”

“Crowley?” The woman nodded, giving the angel a tiny smile, her pale lips almost as white as her skin. “What’s happened?”

“Remember purgatory?”

Castiel’s expression turned sour; of course he did. His attempt at opening the place ended up with nothing but more miserable decisions; the death of Balthazar by his own angel-sword, Sam’s protection wall lifted, his betrayal to Dean…

“What of it?” he asked, keeping his voice as neutral as possible.

If Hope heard his tone and understood what it meant, she didn’t let it show. “My father sought to open it by himself when you and Raphael failed.” The woman shook her head in disapproval. “After Raphael died, I tried to stop him but he wouldn’t listen. As usual. He said I didn’t understand…” Hope stopped for a moment, long enough for a crow to jump up on her shoulder. She looked at it, pet the animal’s beak before returning her attention to a waiting and listening Castiel. “He failed to open purgatory, of course. Only, he opened a breach in time. Something just as bad happened.”

“What is it?” Castiel pushed on, angry. “What did he do this time?”

For once, Hope’s eyes showed fear, “Abaddon.”

The angel’s mouth opened to speak before it shut. A frown covered his face as he became rigid. “It can’t be…”

“I know, but it’s the truth. From what I gathered of father’s words before he went into hiding, Cain _never_ killed her. He destroyed all the other Knights of Hell, but not Abaddon. And now, she’s here on Earth. She’s fighting my father to get control over Hell.” Hope moved to Castiel and put her right hand on his shoulder, her eyes pleading him. “Please, Castiel. I know you and my father are from different worlds, that he did horrible things in the past, but… For _our_ sake, for the human’s sake, you must help.”

Castiel looked in the woman’s eyes and could see her mother in there, the archangel Tazphkiel. How Crowley had managed to steal the love of an archangel, it still remained a mystery. But Hope was there to prove it. Half-angel, half-demon, Hope had been torn all her life between both worlds and a few considered her as a being. Many saw Hope as an abomination. He had always seen her part of his flock. She was good, despite her demon origins.

“I will see what I can do.”

Hope gave him a little smile. After lowering her hand, the woman lifted her other up, palm facing the moon. A white and black pendant with a silver chain appeared and she handed it to Castiel by the chain. “Take this. You can reach me with it.”

The angel knew no matter how he would try to pray for Hope, she wouldn’t answer to him. No angel or demon could find the woman. Very much like a cambion, half-demon and half-human being, the angel-demon was untraceable.

“I must speak of this with Gabriel,” he explained, putting the pendant in his coat’s pocket

“Tell Gabriel I miss him,” Hope said, giving Castiel a larger smile. “I heard he was back, with a mission.”

Castiel nodded, “We watch over the Winchester brothers.”

Hope nodded in return, “Then I shall watch over them as well. God’s will is mine.”

Castiel smiled at her in silence, a smile she returned before the sound of wings and cawing crows echoed in the valley. Hope was gone. He was also shortly after.

 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Sam couldn’t hold back his laughter, his sides hurting so much from it that he found himself doubled over, lying on his back on the bed. “Dude, this is _priceless_.”

Also lying on the bed beside his charge, Gabriel snorted, amused by Sam’s laughter and his explanation of how Dean and Castiel were trying blind of how the other felt. “I swear, on Dad’s head. These two, blind as bats, are running after each other as dogs chasing cars.”

In all his years, Sam had seen his brother bring women leave with women at the bar, often using his younger brother as wingman. Sam, on the other end, was rather selective and the few times he had ended up with someone on a case, it had involved feelings. No wonder Dean kept calling him ‘Samantha’.

Only recently he had closed up, refusing to let in anyone. With Lucifer wearing him for the prom and the nightmares involving the devil, he had known it wasn’t the right time for emotional attachment. Instead, he had pushed himself in the work until the incident with Castiel happened.

“I _thought_ it was like that but… The fact that you as well see it, it means I wasn’t crazy.” The young hunter looked at the white ceiling, keeping a straight face for not more than ten seconds before he started laughing again. “I-I-I can’t help it, it’s just too funny!”

“What is funny?”

Castiel interrupting them made both Sam and Gabriel sat up with haste on Sam’s bed to face the angel. Standing still, straight as usual, a look of genuine confusion on his face, Castiel tried to understand why they were laughing.

Unable to stop himself, Gabriel grinned at the other angel, standing up to give Castiel a strong hug. “Hey bro!”

“Cas,” greeted Sam, grinning as well. He still couldn’t help but remember what Gabriel was talking about not even ten seconds ago, and was amused by it far too much to drown the thought.

“I’m glad to see you’re awake, Sam.” Despite the undisguised guilt in his eyes, Castiel gave a nod at the young Winchester before turning to Gabriel who let go of him. “I had a visit from someone.”

“Who might that be?” the archangel asked, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

“Hope.”

Sam frowned, standing up. “Hope?”

Gabriel looked over at his charge. “She’s a…” Looking at Castiel again, he pursed his lips in thought. “Did we give her a name? I mean, there’s no other half-demon, half-angel out there that I know of.”

The young Winchester’s eyes widened at his words. “Hold up. _How_ is that even possible?”

“Hope’s mother was the archangel of compassion, Tazphkiel. She was known as the archangel who watched over people with love and understanding.” The way Castiel spoke of her in the past and with a sad note in his voice told Sam the archangel wasn’t among them anymore. “She felt that the other archangels were unfair to many beings. When Lucifer fell, she was upset that many turned their back to him. No matter what the path her brother had taken, she was respecting it, even if she took no side. Unlike many of us, Tazphkiel was neutral.”

“You see kiddo, she hated also the war in heaven,” Gabriel added, smiling sadly. “She wanted to see peace. Her idea of peace was respect and understanding among all beings, including hell, which meant demons created by Lucifer. So, she sought to understand them and create a truce. And that’s when she met an _interesting_ young demon…” A grin formed on the archangel’s face, one that Sam was almost afraid of. It reminded him strangely of Loki. “You’ve met him. Maaany times…”

Sam blinked once, twice… Then he understood. “Crowley?”

“Oh yeah!” Gabriel laughed, beaming a proud smile at his charge. He always liked it when Sam showed how witty he was. “He was young of course, but either way, Tazzy was ‘enchanted’ by him. Surprisingly…”

“Well, he’s got some… charm, if you look at it from a certain perspective.” When both angels looked at him as if another head had sprouted out of his right shoulder, Sam lifted both hands up in self-defence. “Hey, Jody said that, I didn’t!”

“Either way,” Gabriel continued, clearly amused by Sam’s reddening cheeks, “Hope was born. She’s the first and only angel-demon that existed. When Raphael found out what Tazphkiel had done, he tracked her down, hoping he could smite Crowley and their daughter. He didn’t expect the new born child to be a full grown woman and neither did he expect Hope to be able to hide herself from both angels and demons.”

“Only Crowley can sense Hope.” Castiel moved his hand in his pocket, retrieving a silver chain with a black and white pearl. “But she gave me this, so I can reach her. She asked for my help.”

“Why?” Gabriel frowned, confused. “She’s in trouble?”

“Crowley is. He tried to open purgatory but ended up causing a breach in time and Abaddon appeared.”

“By all that is Holy,” the archangel breathed out, his face falling serious, one of the rare moments that it ever happened. “I thought Cain had killed all the other Knights of Hell?”  Gabriel’s turned to look at Sam. “I think it’s better if we fill in Dean-o. We’re in big trouble if Abaddon is here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback appreciated ^.^
> 
> Thanks to who the kudos left :3 I never expected that story to gets any!


	7. An Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not much in this chapter. Sam and Dean spend some time together. Bringing back Balthy and hinting toward the relationship he has with Hope (and her powers). And the mention of Cain... guess we all know where this is going?

After giving a recap of all they had told Sam to Dean, the two angels sat down in the library and they began doing researches in the Men of letters’ books. Dean was relatively calm but it was obvious he was still angry at Castiel. As of Sam, Dean didn’t have time to really get all emotional about it; he still gave his thanks to Gabriel and even forgave him for all that had happened in the past between them, something that Sam never thought he would hear coming from his brother.

The books didn’t say much. Castiel and Gabriel were left behind looking through them as Dean and Sam went further in the cave, seeking for more. That’s when they fell upon a set of old films.

“We need something to read it,” Dean said with a grim smile. “I don’t think we’ll find anything in here.”

Sam had a feeling they were onto something. It felt right. The brothers looked for an entire afternoon before they finally found something. Deep down in another section of the bunker, they found a room with a box in a corner. Sam was more than happy when he opened it; they discovered an old dusty 8mm film projector.

“Ready for some movie time?” Dean said with a grin.

 

The two brothers sat, watching the old black and white movie, listening but not really. Sam’s mind was elsewhere. Dean’s too. It was obvious the elder hunter wasn’t focused as he should have been and his little brother wasn’t a fool. There was something on Dean’s mind, a matter that had to be taken care of sooner or later.

“Dean, are you still mad at Cas?”

For a moment, Dean didn’t answer, didn’t move. When he did, the hunter turned to look at his younger brother with glaring green eyes. “Aren’t you?”

Sam ignored the question, knowing that Dean only wanted to evade it. He wasn’t about to let go this time. “I asked if _you_ were.”

Another long silence. “After what he did, yes, I’m still mad,” Dean finally said. He lifted a hand up to the 8mm projector and stopped the reading. “He removed the shield on your mind, Sammy. He _knew_ what it would do to you! So yes, I’m pissed.”

Sam sighed, leaning back in his chair. “He had his reasons.”

“Doesn’t mean he had the right to do it!”

Picking at the label of his beer, Sam gazed down at the brown bottle. “You forgave Gabriel though.”

Turning to look at Dean, Sam saw his brother glare back at him with anger and hurt. “Dude, that’s not the same thing. He might have tried to ice me over and over, but we’re still here.”

“And I’m here, aren’t I?” Sam frowned at Dean’s scoff of annoyance. “I’m asking you to consider this. Cas is your best friend. You can’t lose him over something like that Dean.” He paused, turning back to look at the frozen screen in front of him, knowing the next words would slowly make way in Dean’s brain, eventually. “That would kill you both.”

With a sigh, Dean started the film again. “I’ll think about it.”

Despite his brother mumbling something about ‘chick-flic’ and ‘women’, Sam allowed himself a smile.

 

When the two brothers came back to Castiel and Gabriel, they didn’t have the same information as they thought they would have. Still, they had found out something interesting; Father Max Thompson had learned and performed a ritual to cleanse a demon, rendering it _human_. It was not something they had heard of, and when they told the two angels, they seemed just as surprised.

“I don’t know what we can do with that but… that’s interesting,” Sam said with a shrug.

“We didn’t find anything about Abaddon, though,” Dean sighed, sitting down on his couch by the large table where Castiel and Gabriel were.

“I will call Hope.” Castiel reached to the necklace and closed his fingers around it. “Hope, come to me please.”

The familiar sound of wings and crows echoed in the bunker.

“Castiel.”

The four men turned to look at the woman who had just spoken. Like when she had showed herself to Castiel, Hope wore the same white dress. The crows were nowhere to be seen through, but Castiel knew they wouldn’t be too far if the woman wanted them.

Hope turned to look at Gabriel as the archangel stood up. Her lips formed a large smile and she moved toward him. “Gabriel,” she greeted him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he caught her by the waist. She was the same height as him.

That’s when Sam and Dean realised she was barefoot. They exchanged a silent look and shrugged. Angels were weird, and it seemed that Hope was no exception.

“Thanks for coming Hope,” Gabriel said at last, holding her tightly. “It’s been a while.”

“Far too long.” She moved back, letting go of the archangel to turn her eyes on the Winchester brothers. “Sam and Dean Winchester, at last I meet you.” Hope bowed her head in respect. “Please, don’t let my father’s reputation curse mine. I am nothing like him.”

“I hope not,” Dean snorted, standing up to meet her. “Dean, by the way.”

“Oh I know. Father affectionately calls you ‘squirrel’. I figured that you were smaller than your brother, Sam.” Her lips curled into a tiny knowing smile. “Though I’m nothing like him in personality, I have do have his sense of humour.”

Dean rolled his eyes, offering her a tight unamused smile. “Yeah well, he’s funny in his own way.”

Smiling still, the woman turned to look at the angel of Thursday, “Castiel, why did you call?”

“I have a question,” Sam answered her, moving closer to where she was standing. “Have you met Abaddon?”

She shook her head, focussing her attention to Sam. “I have not. When my father finally managed to close the time breach, I thought we were safe. We had no idea something had slipped through. It was only later that I felt something. I thought at that moment it was my imagination.” Hope motioned them the seats behind them. “Please sit, this might take a while.”

Gabriel took back his seat whilst Sam joined Dean on the sofa whilst Castiel sat on a chair. Then, Hope explained that Abaddon had never shown her face. When she arrived through the time breach, the Knight of Hell sought to establish her dominance back on Hell. She started hunting and eventually spread the word of her comeback and what she meant to do with Hell. She tortured demons to finally learn that Crowley was the King of Hell and killed whoever she came across who was loyal to him. After gathering a bunch of loyalist to follow her, she challenged Crowley and forced him to go into hiding.

“After his face-off with Abaddon, my father knew he was no match for her.” Hope bowed her head down, sadness in her eyes. “I understand that you wish to kill him. He has done very bad things. But Abaddon is worse, far more than you could ever imagine. If you thought Lucifer was bad, this isn’t too far behind. She _will_ kill as many humans as she can. Abaddon wants _everyone_ dead, except demons that are loyal to her. And once she finds how to do it, she will kill me.”

“How do we ice the bitch?” Dean asked, drawing the woman’s attention to him.

“This, I do not know…” Hope seemed thoughtful for a second before her dark hazelnut eyes widened. “But I know someone who could tell us!” Looking up, she put both hands together as if praying. “Balthazar, come to me.”

Dean, Sam and Gabriel turned to look at Castiel, who stared at them with a rather pitiful look on his face. They knew he had killed the obnoxious angel. It wasn’t something Castiel was proud of. In fact, he was still angry with himself for doing such a thing.

“Hope, he-” Sam started to say when the lights in the bunker flicked lightly.

Before Sam could even finish his sentence, Balthazar appeared by Hope’s side, dressed up in his usual grey t-shirt and black coat and pants. “You called me, pretty?”

“Balthazar?” Gabriel said with surprise.

The angel lifted an eyebrow, his eyes falling upon the Winchester brothers at first, then Gabriel and Castiel. He stared at Castiel for a few seconds, taking in the angel, before turning back to Hope. “My my, what a reunion we have here. Hun, did you call me so Cassie here can kill me again?”

“Balthazar, I’m sor-” The angel of Thursday began, looking up, but his speech was swiftly cut out by Hope’s hard glare. So, she knew. Castiel fell back in his seat, guilt eating him inside at the single thought the woman hated him for what he had done.

“You had your reasons, Castiel,” the woman said with no venom in her voice before turning to Balthazar, “as I had my reasons to bring him back.”

“You love me, admit it,” Balthazar teased her, reaching out to brush at her long hair against her waist.

Hope rolled her eyes, but gave him a warm glare. “Balthazar, I asked you to join us so you could help with this investigation.”

“What can I help you with then?” he asked to the group, arms opened wide as if he was expecting it.

“How do we kill Abaddon?” Sam asked, eager to know how to get rid of the demon who was just as bad as Lucifer. He knew how horrible it was to deal with the archangel, he wasn’t eager to know how it would be with this demon.

Balthazar huffed, as if offended by the request. “ _Please_ , next time, make it a harder question,” he challenged, grinning. “You need the First Blade.”

“Which you can find…” Dean began, motioning with his hand to Balthazar to go on.

The angel rolled his dark blue eyes, “Cain.” He then seemed thoughtful for a moment. “Besides, I’m surprised why you’re asking this. I thought Cain had killed every other Knight of Hell. He should be the only one alive.”

“Apparently not.” Gabriel, who had joined Sam, was sitting on the armchair of the couch by his charge. “Abaddon travelled through time because of Crowley’s mistake. He opened a breach when he tried to open Purgatory.”

Balthazar turned to look at Hope, his mouth opening in a gasp, “Have I ever told you how _stupid_ your father is?”

Hope rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her. “ _Please_ , Balt, he already knows.”

The angel gave her a softer look, leaning toward her teasingly. “So, for my information, do I get a kiss?”

Dean groaned, rolling his eyes as Gabriel snickered in amusement. Castiel seemed to feel a little out of place and Sam refused to even look at them, the wall suddenly much more interesting than it should be.

“When you stop flirting with every human woman on Earth, maybe you’ll have one,” Hope retorted, much to the other two angels and Winchester brothers’ amusement.

“Well can’t say I didn’t try,” shrugged Balthazar, smiling at them. “Anything else I can be useful for? Otherwise…”

Hope reached up and took hold of his arm with her hand. “Stay with us,” she immediately said, meeting the angel’s questioning glance. Anyone in the room could see the way her pale skin darkened around her cheekbones. “We could use all the help possible to find Cain.”

Balthazar gave her a warm smile. “How could I resist you, love?”

The woman narrowed her eyes mockingly at him, a smile forming on her lips, and dropped her hand. “I will go speak with my father, see if he can help us with Cain. I’ll be back shortly.”

The moment after, Hope was gone. Balthazar moved to the chair where Castiel was sitting and settled down with ease. “Well, you guys got anything I can put my nose into?”

“Plenty,” Gabriel said, and with a snap of his fingers, a pile of books appeared in front of the angel on the table.

“Perfect,” grunted Balthazar with obvious fake happiness before taking one of them. “Tea anyone?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else liked Balthazar? Gosh, he was so awesome and adorable! I couldn't help myself ^.^


	8. The Game is On!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Sam team up to stop the cold shoulder Dean gives to Castiel. The trickster has a plan and for once, Sam agrees with him.
> 
> In the meantime, Balthazar and Hope are out in the wild looking for leads on Cain's whereabouts.

After Hope left, Dean, Castiel and Balthazar remained in the giant library, searching for more leads on Cain but so far they had nothing. Hope visited them a few hours later, reporting that Crowley might have something but the demon of the crossroads had to dig deeper on his side before making it official.

So as the others kept on with their researches, Gabriel and Sam moved to the hunter’s room. Gabriel had insisted on talking to Sam alone because of how the two ‘lovebirds’ were acting toward each – and he wanted to be alone with Sam, really. They were still very hostile, especially Dean. The hunter was a complete asshole to Castiel, who was left sulking, feeling guilty and sad all the time. The archangel wanted nothing more than to put the elder Winchester into a time-loop to make him understand what kind of trouble he was causing to the young angel. If it wasn’t of Sam, he would have; something told him that Sam would forever put him in the middle of a circle of holy fire if he ever did that again to his brother.

“Have you talked to your brother yet?” Gabriel asked while sitting on the desk in front of Sam’s bed.

The hunter looked up, noticing the almost childish way Gabriel balanced his feet under the desk. It was cute, really. Fighting off a blush for the fifth time in the last thirty minutes, Sam cleared his throat. “Not much. Especially with Cas bringing us that stuff about Abaddon. We had little time to chat. I still asked him if he was still angry at Cas though.” Sam sighed, burying one hand in his long hair. “And that’s a yes. So, I don’t know what to do.”

Gabriel seemed thoughtful for a moment. “Cassie is hurting, I can see it. The half-bond between them is straining and Dean’s rejection is making this worse.”

Sam nodded in understanding. When Gabriel had explained to him how Castiel and Dean were bonded, Sam had seen the connexion. The moment the angel of Thursday had pulled Dean out of Hell, the bond had begun to form, despite how the young angel had tried to keep it from happening. No to mention how easy it was to notice the little things left and right; the long shared looks, the multiple touches, the mark on Dean’s left arm, the constant need to gravitate around one another… It was as if they needed each other and couldn’t admit it.

Dean’s rejection was only making things worse for both of them. Gabriel had explained the bond needed to be completed, that only their consent could make it happen. Even if the archangel helped them, the half-bond wouldn’t change. Dean and Castiel had to complete it together.

“Would it be better if they completed the bond?”

The archangel pursed his lips thoughtfully before he nodded, grinning at Sam like a cat that got some special treats, “If they complete it, you might not like it…”

“Why? Can’t be worse than now, Gabe. This shit has to stop!” It was getting old to see his brother act like some upset teenager who had his bike stolen.

“Well it won’t be worse than now. But… things will change, drastically.”

“How drastically?” The hunter wanted to know. _Needed_ to know.

Gabriel shrugged, lifting his hands up in self-defence in front of him. “You’ve been warned Sam-a-lam! You want to know, I’m telling you.” When Sam looked at him, determination in his eyes, the archangel sighed. “They need to _consume_.”

“ _Consume_ ,” repeated Sam after him, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yes, _consume_.” When Sam looked at him, confused at the word, Gabriel rolled his eyes and groaned, “They need to do the tango dance, bucko!”

The younger Winchester’s mouth fell off as he gaped at the archangel. “Aaah, okay. So, this _bond_ thing is like… a sex thing?”

“Wrong. It’s a _love_ thing; it’s not _just_ the act.” Gabriel stopped for a moment, as if thinking what to say. “When two angels bond together, they can’t create a half-bond. The link is strong from the start and it’s a two way trip because of their graces. With humans, it’s different; you need the consent from the human, like when we take a vessel. If the angel doesn’t have the human’s consent, it stays one-sided with a residual link in the human’s mind – and will stay that way until it’s complete.”

“And how do you start this so called one-side bond?”

Gabriel sneered, as if amused by the question. “Oh, you know… When an angel pulled _someone_ out of Hell and put him back together.” The archangel paused before adding with a surprisingly serious face, “It has to be an act with a deep meaning.”

Sam seemed thoughtful for a moment, his lips tightly pressed together as he remained silent. Gabriel’s explanations were clear; Dean felt the connexion with Castiel to some extent. Castiel was bonded to Dean, suffering in silence because of the rejection until they took it further. Add to that Dean’s refusal to speak to him, and Castiel’s pain became even worse, even in Sam’s eyes.

“Why sex, though?”

“Because sex is a deep, intimate act of love. Well, _most_ of the time anyway. Some humans don’t practice it that way, but it should be.” Gabriel smiled at Sam, noticing the redness on his cheeks. “I know what you’re thinking: Dean isn’t really the type to be with only one person, even less with a man. But Castiel is an _angel_. Angels don’t have gender. We only have vessels.”

“But Dean won’t see past this,” Sam added, suddenly feeling sad for his friend Castiel.

“Would you?” Gabriel suddenly asked, tilting his head to the side in his typical curiosity sign, his honey eyes shining with Loki’s mischief. “You say that your brother won’t see past the vessel, but… do you think _you_ could see past it?”

Taken aback for a moment by the archangel’s question, Sam couldn’t keep looking at Gabriel. He gazed down at the bed quilt, his mind reeling. Could he do that, look past the human male body and see the angel inside? For humans, love was mostly attraction, affection and most of the time love at first sight. Dean had been attracted to busty women with small waists and dreamy legs. Sam liked them different; shorter than him, sporty and witty, intellectual and challenging. He had no particular hair or eye color preferences but he had to admit brunettes were always what attracted him.

_Wait a minute…_

Sam backtracked on the description of his perfect companion and couldn’t help himself. All that he had described reflected almost perfectly someone he knew.

He frowned, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Something must be wrong with him, definitively. There has to be something wrong. He wasn’t gay. Well, he wasn’t into angels either. Or bi. But then, why was he thinking about this suddenly?

And there was this… nagging feeling. This tug in his guts catching him by surprise from time to time. Treacherous, acting on its own accord, his mind projected a rather indecent scenario to him. Even if he tried to stop it, Sam couldn’t.

Him pushing Gabriel beneath his body, sealing the archangel’s ever smirking mouth with his, stealing a rather heated kiss off him. Hands everywhere; touching, grasping, taking for himself what Gabriel was offering him. Wanting. _Needing_. As air to breathe and water to drink.

Sam could barely hold back a groan at the distinct feeling of a small body arching up, pressing against his hard chest and between his legs with wanton abandon. Soft moans and mewls, pleas and demands to give more.

The emotion was so strong. It was as if he had done this before, with Gabriel. A memory, or the ghost of one. As if he had _felt_ said lips and body against his, beneath his own. The impulse to put his hands on Gabriel became all too suddenly too much. His fingers started burning, aching to reach for the archangel. The need eating him from the inside was telling Sam he should stop caring about the vessel’s sex, instead that he should look at what was _inside_ of it.

“I could,” he managed to answer Gabriel’s question, his mouth talking before he could control it. Lifting his head up, he leveled his gaze with the archangel’s. “Because I can see inside someone better than Dean can.”

Gabriel’s hands were resting on each side of his thigh, fingers holding on tightly at its edge. They looked in each other’s eyes in silence for a long moment, unmoving and unable to do so. Sam almost felt like leaning toward Gabriel, slip a hand in his light brown mane, tug at it so that he could take what he was craving for. His heart pounded in his chest, in his ears.

“Then we need a plan.” Gabriel’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, away from the rather vivid imaginative world his brain was giving him.

A plan? Ah yes. Dean and Castiel. He had almost forgotten. Sam nodded, frowning deep in thought for a moment before one of the most genius idea suddenly popped in his mind. “What if we lock them in the same room?” A tiny mischievous smile tugged at his lips as he turned to look at the archangel.

Gabriel’s mouth curled up in the same smirk, “I like the idea kiddo. And I think I know _exactly_ how we could do this…”

 

Later on that day, Hope came back a second time with more information about the whereabouts of Cain but from what she had gathered from Crowley, it was merely a hypothesis. With the help of Balthazar, they left to look for the Knight of Hell, hoping to find him soon.

With Balthazar now gone, Castiel and Dean were left alone in the library, reading the books and surfing the internet with lots of coffee to go through the researches, purposely ignoring each other in silence.

Gabriel also made sure they wouldn’t come by Dean’s room as put their plan in action. After putting an illusion spell forcing the time to go slower around the oblivious couple-to-be, he joined Sam in the elder hunter’s room.

Sam was already setting the room with all the painted sigils, following Gabriel’s order. The archangel made them invisible as soon as he was sure they were right. Gabriel had elaborated a plan; he knew a way to allow Castiel to enter the room without knowing the sigils were on the walls. Gabriel made sure to counter those sigils with a counterpart that would make them untraceable for Castiel. It would also keep the angel of Thursday from leaving the room but wouldn’t incapacitate him. Instead, the sigils that would make the walls of the room unbreakable, immune to angelic grace.

Being an archangel had its perks; by adding a single sigil on the wall, Gabriel allowed himself full movement in and out of the room. He would teleport both Dean and Castiel in it then get out of there before they could do something. Gabriel had painted it himself, just to be sure the sigil was perfect and allowed him to teleport. He tested it as well with his magic and was glad to find out that the drawings done by Sam were perfect.

Within two hours, they were done. The room was sealed and aside of the four of them, no one else could walk in. Besides, Hope and Balthazar were gone on their hunt for Cain; they would be away for at least two days. It was enough time for Dean and Castiel to ‘kiss and make-up’, as Gabriel put it.

Even if Dean’s sexual life wasn’t something that interested Sam, he could only agree with that plan, as long as Dean stopped his damn sulking over his angel and grow some balls. Things had to change, and well they were heading in one direction; the bonding.

“Are you sure this will work?” Sam asked one last time as they made their way to the door before the library. Gabriel’s illusion kept Dean and Castiel from seeing them.

“Oh it will, Samsquatch. I’m sure of it!” The ex-trickster rubbed his hands together, grinning widely in anticipation. His plan was _so_ perfect. It had to work! “I just can’t wait to see their faces as I teleport them, and when they find out they can’t get out.”

“Dean will be furious.”

The archangel snorted, rolling his eyes. “Nothing new here. Alright, here goes nothing.”

Gabriel materialized right between the two men and grabbed their arms. In two seconds, they were ported away, right in front of Sam’s eyes. He couldn’t see the next place they went but he knew that Gabriel had brought Dean and Castiel in the elder hunter’s room.

 

The spell broken around them, Dean and Castiel stiffened, realising the change in surrounding. When they looked around, they took in the room and also the archangel leaning against the door.

“Hello gents,” he greeted them with a wave of his hand, smirking as the trickster he had once been.

“Gabriel, what is going on?” Castiel asked, frowning deeply.

“Ah so you can feel it, brother.” Gabriel was very proud of his charge for succeeding the sigils patterns so perfectly.

“Feel what?” Dean asked, going from Castiel to Gabriel, this time growing a little angry at the archangel. “What the hell is going on? What have you done, you sonavabitch?”

“Relax, Dean-o!” Gabriel lifted his hands up. “You two are _so_ much on the edge, you have to _relax_!” Grinning widely, the archangel’s hand reached down to rest on the doorknob. “You see Dean-o-boy, my brother here has been hiding things from you. And _you_ have been hiding things from him.” He pointed fingers from one man to the other as he spoke, noticing their mutual deadly glare directed at him. “I won’t go into details but… I think you two need a little _bonding_ time, don’t you think Cassie?”

“Gabriel…”

Purposedly ignoring Castiel’s threatening low growl, Gabriel gave Dean a smug smile, loving how angry the hunter glared at him. “And you, don’t you think  it’s about you just man up, grow some balls and admit your feelings for once? Get that stick out of your ass. Or… Yeah, you get my drift.”

When Dean tried to open his mouth to speak, Gabriel waved a hand, cutting him short, temporarily removing all ability to speak for Dean. Dean opened his mouth as if speaking the words and spat more angry curses at Gabriel. Despite without his ability to speak out loud, anyone able to read lips would have seen ‘asshole’ and ‘dick’ form on Dean’s lips.

“Now _now_ , don’t waste your voice yet, Dean-o! Wait ‘til I’m gone. Besides, you have two days. _Forty-eight hours_. If by then you two don’t… _understand_ each other, we might want to make this experience last another two weeks.” He snapped his fingers, conjuring food and water for them in the left corner of the room on a table before he opened the door, waggling his eyebrows teasingly and almost seductively. “Have _fun_!” Gabriel made sure to snap Dean’s mute spell away before closing the door.

“You sunavabitch! Gabriel! Come back here, you dick, I swear I will kick your feathery ass and tear you a new one!” the hunter started ranting, running to the door. He grabbed the handle with both hands before suddenly released a scream of pain, backing off, letting go of it. Holding both hands together against his chest, Dean hissed in pain, “Damn it!”

“Dean?”

Castiel moved to him, realising what happened. When the hunter turned to him, his hands were red where he had taken hold of the knob. Castiel turned to the door, touching the metal and felt it; it was very warm. In fact, it was burning hot.

“I will kill that little shit,” Dean cursed again, sitting on the bed.

Castiel joined him, immediately taking hold of his hand and cradling them within his. In no position to argue with the angel, Dean let him do it. When the burning sensation suddenly faded to be replaced by a buzzing warm that eventually faded away, Dean looked down.

The marks on his hands left by the doorknob were gone. “Thanks Cas,” he sighed, giving the angel a little smile.

Castiel looked at their hands and removed his away, realising they were still touching. “You’re welcome, Dean.”

A heavy silence fell between them as the angel stood up, giving room once again to Dean. He didn’t want to hear the ‘personal space’ argument right now. He had much to think about; especially concerning his brother’s actions and why he was now stuck in this room with Dean, alone.

 

“Did it work?” Sam asked when Gabriel appeared in the living room where the hunter was eating an apple.

“Oh yes, it did!” Snapping a chocolate bar in his hand, Gabriel grinned in victory. “I’m sure by now that Dean had burnt his hands and that _poor_ little Castiel had to make contact with him. It’s only the beginning.”

“Not that I’m eager to see my brother get hurt but I admit, it’s one way to draw them closer,” agreed the youngest Winchester brother. “Let’s hope they get along soon so the sexual tension goes away and we can focus on killing Abaddon.”

“Well said,” piped in the archangel, lifting his chocolate bar in a cheer before taking a huge bite of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rub hands* Destiel next chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Destiel! Feels and love ahead, with some angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! I've been working on trying to fix this, but I've got so many fics in mind that I can't make up my mind. *groans in frustration* I hope this is good - my first attempt at Destiel, after all!
> 
> Enjoy xx

After Dean burnt his hand on the door handle and that Castiel healed him, they didn’t speak for nearly one hour. They sat far away from each other, thinking of why they were stuck in the hunter’s room, reflecting both on what Gabriel had said before leaving.

At first, Dean had been too upset to realise what Gabriel had meant. The bonding thing had seemed a joke but looking back on how Castiel had reacted at the archangel’s mention of the ‘bond’, more he thought something was off. _Maybe_ he had missed something. He knew about the _profound bond_ , what Castiel had mentioned to him once. But could that bond really mean something special for Castiel? He knew they had bonded in a certain way. There was friendship, which was technically a bond. They were _still_ friends, even though Dean refused to speak to the angel and forgive him for what he had done to Sam.

But after further reflection, he realised that maybe Gabriel didn’t mean that kind of bond. For once, Dean felt nervous about all this. Not knowing what kind of trouble he could be in with the angel wasn’t something he felt comfortable with. The last time he had felt that way, Sam ended up in a coma.

Meanwhile, Castiel was also thinking of what his brother. Unlike Dean, he wasn’t upset. But he agreed that Dean had his reasons to be. Something was nagging the angel though; words that his brother had said that had been directed at the hunter.

Apparently, Dean needed to admit his ‘feelings’. What kind of feelings was Gabriel talking about? Whatever he had seen in Dean’s green eyes of late had been sadness and pain, anger and rejection. Castiel admitted openly he had caused more trouble than good with his decisions, but never would he want to make such mistake, ever again. He had learned not to betray his friends’ trust ever again. The consequences weren’t worth it.

Maybe Gabriel was onto something with the bond. True, Castiel needed to explain to Dean what meant the mark on his shoulder. The words _profound bond_ didn’t cut it, not even close. Not only did it represent the form of his hand grabbing the human out of the pit of Hell when he was still mangled and torn apart, but it also meant much more. So much more.

The moment Castiel had put together Dean’s soul and body, he had allowed his grace to embrace him. His grace had linked within the hunter’s soul, forging it and strengthening it, but also he created at that very moment a bond with Dean.

Castiel had known at the time that the bond would be one-sided. He could feel Dean and knew whenever the hunter was hurt, despite the markings on his ribs. Sometimes, Castiel knew what the hunter was feeling, but it was harder to catch on the little emotions as he refused to peek in Dean’s privacy. Although at times when the emotions were strong, they could crash upon him like waves and Castiel would share them as well. It sometimes happened whenever they were close enough or when touching. He could also read the hunter’s mind if he wished but never pried. Humans weren’t like angels and privacy was important, especially for Dean as he’d so often told Castiel.

But this bond wasn’t reciprocated. In a way, it affected Castiel. More than he had ever thought it would.

When Jim Novak had been part of him, he could’ve controlled himself a lot more. Now that his vessel was his own body filled with his grace, Castiel couldn’t deny that aching in his bones. He need Dean’s closeness, to be by Dean’s side _all the time_. More than often the hunter had chided him about personal space but Castiel just wanted to ignore that warning now. Consequences be damned, Castiel would soon be unable to stop himself from touching the hunter.

Dean’s voice broke the awkward silence between them, inadvertently pulling the angel from his deep and troubled thoughts. “Cas….What is this _bond_ thing Gabriel was talking about?”

The fatidic question… It wasn’t like they would never speak of it. Gathering his courage, Castiel looked up from the floor to meet dark green eyes staring at him. After a pause to gather his thoughts and also figure out where to start, Castiel stood up and walked to sit by Dean’s left side on the bed.

“Do you remember what we spoke of, when we first met?”

Dean nodded at the question. “You said that you pulled me out of Hell and made me whole again.”

“Yes,” Castiel agreed with a soft smile, feeling a warm emotion filling his chest. Being so close to Dean was good for him, showed him how he had missed it. “To make you whole again, I had to keep you together with my grace. You were torn to pieces, shattered all around. It took me some time and I’ve learned every inch of your being, Dean Winchester.”

Dean stared back at Castiel, thinking how intimate those words sound.

“The mark on your arm was created when I pulled you out of Hell. But I’ve left a deeper mark than I thought. I’ve realised it after your reconstruction that I had bonded myself to you.”

The hunter’s eyes widened at that. “Is that what Gabriel was hinting at? That you are bonded to me?” When Castiel nodded, Dean asked with a tight voice, doing his best to hide his emotions, “Am I bonded to you?”

The angel shook his head. He could hear the hint of fear in the words and wanted nothing more than to soothe it away. “No, you’re not bonded to me. In order to be bonded to an angel, a human has to give his consent and then, they can bond. Otherwise, it remains a one-sided bond forever.” Castiel tried to swallow the sadness and keep a straight face but Dean saw through him right away.

“What does it do, this bond?” Despite how ‘no chick-flic moments, Dean had always cared for Castiel; this was no different. “Does it hurt you? Is it painful?” When Castiel shook his head, Dean added, “Can you… Can you read my mind?”

“Whenever I am close and in contact with you, I could – but only if I tried. But I would never. Your thoughts are private, that would be dishonourable.” When Dean offered him a smile, pleased at the answer, Castiel felt lighter. “I can sense you, which is why I was able to travel to you often. I can also sense your emotions or even visit you in your dreams. Whenever I heal you, it’s easier, because my grace reaches for the grace I had left behind in you attached to your soul.”

“What would happen if the bond was complete?” Dean had to know that as well. It was so far not as bad as he had thought.

“We could communicate telepathically. Our bond could allow us to feel the other, sense each other’s feelings with a simple thought of each other.” Castiel stopped for a moment to think before finally saying what he believed could change Dean’s perspective on the bond. “It’s like two halves of an apple you put back together. You feel… complete. The bond becomes this strong link that makes the two beings whole again. You feel as if you found something that had been missing from the beginning.”

The hunter’s cheeks inflamed despite his best attempt at keeping himself in check, a shyness he hid behind a chuckle, “Well that’s, huh… kind of a chick-flic moment here, Cas.” He paused again, scratching the back of his neck with his right hand. “What you’re saying there, it’s almost… _romantic_.”

Castiel fell silent for a moment, forcing Dean to look up and hold his gaze. They shared silent conversation that Castiel broke with his gravelly voice. “A bond is made of love and understanding. It’s compassion. It’s a relationship.”

Dean cocked his head to the side, curious. “Is it like marriage?”

“Deeper than that, Dean. It’s two souls finding each other.” Castiel held the hunter’s gaze as he spoke the last word. “Soulmates.”

 

When the discussion ended, they stayed quiet for a few hours lost in deep thoughts. Dean wondered if he should take a step forward and admit he wanted to do something about this bond. The only problem was commitment. Dean and commitment had never really fit well together. In fact, he was scared of it. Once he had tried with Lisa and things ended up badly so he had given up.

Until now.

Now that Castiel was beckoning him into a new type of closeness, a bond, Dean had to come to terms. Something deep was going on between them, something that could reach as far as within his soul.

Yet, there was a _tiny, little_ problem; Castiel was a man. And it was known to all that Dean was a ladies man.

Okay, he’d _thought_ he was. Until very recently. Dean had found himself looking at the angel differently. Whenever Castiel was around and that Dean decided to ignore him and give the angel the cold shoulder, Dean hadn’t stopped staring. His attention wasn’t only for Castiel’s reactions toward how Dean was treating him, but toward the whole package. It almost felt like when Dean met a cute new chick. Only this time around, it wasn’t a cute and petite woman he was looking at, but strong and brave, sad and penitent Castiel. He felt responsible for bringing such emotions in the angel and even if that Castiel deserved the pain, Dean couldn’t help but wanted to remove it.

There was no denying his attraction for Castiel. After promising himself never to get in the same emotional pattern again, Dean found himself _lusting_ after a certain angel of the lord.

Of course, at first it had been strange dreams; dreams that didn’t cause much harm in return – pleasure more than anything, really.

Then, those dreams changed, but they all had the same pattern; first they both fought before ending up kissing savagely – for some reason drawing closer together – as two men starving for food and water in the desert. The only thing that differed was whoever started the kiss, depending what the argument was about. More than likely it would be Dean catching on Castiel’s coat and dragging him up against the nearby wall to find out what he tasted like, plundering his mouth with his tongue, biting the angel’s soft lips as they obligingly opened beneath his.

Realising that he wasn’t in a dream and in a room with said angel plaguing his mind at night, Dean blinked, doing his best to ignore the far too vivid memories. It wasn’t helping that they were stuck in this damn room and couldn’t come out of it, not until he admitted what he felt to Castiel. Because that was what Gabriel was hinting at and Dean _knew_ without a doubt the archangel had caught on the attraction Dean felt for Castiel, the one he’d been trying to ignore for far too long now.

Dean pouted in defeat, sulking in silence as he leaned even deeper in the pillow of his bed and banged his head against the wall behind him. He could almost hear Sam calling him a child at this point.

His brother wouldn’t be wrong at all.

“Dean.”

The hunter brought his head down, looking at the angel who was now sitting by the foot of the bed. “Yeah Cas?”

“Are you still upset with me?” Castiel looked up, his blue eyes holding onto his green ones, expecting only the truth in the hunter’s answer.

And Dean could only give him that. Lying to Castiel almost hurt him physically. “Not as much…” When Castiel offered him a smile, little and sad, the hunter sighed. He knew the angel wasn’t feeling any better at his poor answer. “Damn it, man, I’m _not_ fucking pissed!” He rubbed a hand in front of his face, groaning deeply, before opening his eyes again to look at Castiel. “I mean, I _was_ and meant to stay for a long time but… I can’t.”

Castiel nodded in return, looking down at his feet and away from Dean. “I wish I could erase all the damage I’ve caused, Dean. The pain you and Sam had to go through was beyond words and I am sorry.”

“Cas…” Dean nearly choked on the simple nickname he’d given to the angel. Digging his nails in the palms of his hands, he tried his best to come up with something to say. But the words were _so_ hard to find. He knew what he had to say to the angel of the Lord but…

He was a coward, always been a coward when it came down to emotions. He preferred to just look away. Run. But it wasn’t like he had any choice right now. They were stuck together and things had to come out. He mentally cursed at this.

_Grow some balls, Dean Winchester!_ Sam’s voice taunted him in his mind.

Despite how Dean hated to hear it, it was true. He needed to man up and tell Castiel how he felt, even if it would make him feel like a god damn girl.

“I felt betrayed, man. I thought wewere _friends_ , and friends work shit out _together_. But you turned your back on me Cas. On _us_. It hurt, more than I ever thought it would, ‘cause…”

The rest of his sentence caught down his throat as he looked up at the blank ceiling of his room. The rest of the words were hard to spit out, his tongue thick and heavy in his mouth and his mind a damn clusterfuck of words and feelings all mixed up together. It was hard to make any sense of all this, especially when too many things wanted to come out at once after ignoring it all for too long now.

He must have fallen silent for a while because Castiel looked up at him, the angel’s tempting mouth parting in a silent question. That same mouth he had often, _far_ too often, dreamt about and kissed, nipped at with passion. Swallowing thickly, Dean forced himself to meet Castiel’s bright blue eyes, straying away from his mouth. The confusion he noticed in Castiel’s gaze was kind of annoying. Of course Castiel didn’t understand what he was trying to say. As a being of literal statements, Castiel was unable to read between the lines. If things weren’t black or white, the angel didn’t get the point.

It also didn’t help that Castiel was still sitting two feet away from him, on the ground, his shoulders slouched forward and his body still showing all kinds of wrong emotions. It almost looked like Dean had slapped him.

With a heavy sigh, Dean angrily rubbed both hands in front of his face again, knowing he had to do something. “God damn it Cas, stop making this so difficult. Come here. Stop acting like a scare doe!”

Dean moved one hand to his side, patting the bed at the angel, beckoning him to sit closer. He had to take it one step at a time with Castiel. After all, he had no idea how his angel would react if he jumped on him and initiate anything intimate.

Because that was the next thing to do, right?

Castiel stood up to sit on the bed, blue eyes never leaving Dean as he took his place by the hunter’s side. “I’m not scared, Dean.” Castiel cocked his head to the side. “And why did you compare me to a female animal?”

For a moment, Dean gaped in amusement at the angel, not knowing anyone who would ask him such question at a time like this. It was funny how Castiel could come up with the most ridiculous comments sometimes.

“Cas, it’s just…” He shook his head, laughing genuinely. “Don’t put too much thought into it.”

“I promise next time we have a misunderstanding, we will work it out together,” the angel finally said, smiling back, his eyes shining so bright that they could lighten up the room.

Dean stared at Castiel, not sure where to begin. A minute ago he wanted to spill his guts to him. Suddenly, the angel completely disarmed him with his awkwardness. It could also be the heat coming from Castiel that wasn’t helping Dean in any way. It was getting to his head. He could feel Castiel there, so close to touch and yet not touching him. Yet he wanted to hold the angel. _His_ angel.

Dean needed to take hold of Castiel’s body. He had been for far too long. And he’d been ignoring this basic instinct. It had worked before but for some reason when looking in Castiel’s crystal blue eyes right now, Dean nearly succumbed to the temptation of putting his fingers on the other man’s skin, to this nagging feeling coursing through him up to the tip of his fingers to dig his hands in those sex-mused hair.

“Dean?”

As Castiel spoke his name with his deep gravelly voice, the hunter blinked his heavy lids, realising he had been staring yet again. Castiel was looking at him searchingly, wondering what was happening in his mind. Dean sighed deeply, seeing no other way to solve this ‘ _need’_ issue. Either way, it wasn’t like Gabriel would let them out any time soon or until they admitted all that was in their heart.

“Cas, I…” The words stumbled on his tongue again. The angel looked at him, patient and silent as ever, waiting. Dean swore that a drink wouldn’t be bad right now, some liquid courage was always handy in those situations.

“Do you want me to read it?”

“Wha – _No_!” Castiel frowned at his outburst. Dean quickly lifted a hand up in defence. “I mean, I can say it. Well I should. It should be easy but-” Another loud curse. A sigh. He opened his mouth, nothing came out. He looked at his best friend and felt his heart heave in his chest. Those lips parted in wonder.

Blue, _sparkling_ blue eyes, so beautiful and perfect, so _Castiel_ , staring back at him. So pure and innocent, and he wanted…

He wanted him. He wanted Castiel to be _his_ as a whole. His body. His heart.

“I love you Cas.”

The words echoed rather loudly in the room. Dean was barely aware he had spoken them aloud. Castiel’s eyes widened, blinking twice before a smile forced them to squint softly in amusement.

“I love you too, Dean. Always have.”

His mind was quick on the catch this time. _I love you, you love me_. Everything had been said and well, words weren’t Dean’s forte. With a tiny roguish grin tugging at his lips, Dean reached up to grab Castiel’s tax accountant jacket and pulled him over. Their lips smashed together, the kiss awkward and harsh at first before something unexpected happened.

To Dean’s surprise, Castiel took the lead. He put his right hand on Dean’s chest and pushed him back, interrupting their kiss long enough to have the hunter’s head hit the pillow. With a grunt, Dean back’s hit the mattress of his bed, green eyes wide in surprise as he stared up at the angel of the Lord crawling above him, hands and knees on the bed on each side of him. Dean had no time to react before Castiel’s mouth was back on top of his, hot and demanding, dominating him completely, assaulting his senses a way he wouldn’t have thought possible.

Of all the scenarios that had crossed his mind, Castiel taking charge and leading hadn’t seemed possible. He had always thought of the angel as innocence and shyness. The simple fact that Castiel was growling against his lips made his mind numb all over. All Dean could do at this point was pull at the coat once his fingers found it again, begging with moans and groans to get _more_. And _hot damn_ did he want more.

The kiss went on, Castiel quickly settling comfortably between Dean’s parted bent legs, hands tugging urgently at the hunter’s clothes. Groaning in annoyance, Dean wriggled his body beneath him, pushing the angel’s coat off his shoulders as he sought to bite the other’s lips, part of his mind working as well on getting Castiel naked. Castiel allowed him some room to work on it, slipping the beige coat off his arms, throwing it to the side before pulling away from Dean’s demanding mouth.

Green eyes opened to look at him, hazed with need and lust. Dean propped himself up on his elbows. Swallowing thickly as he _really_ allowed himself to take in Castiel’s appearance. If he had been aroused by a girl with large breasts before, this was affecting him just as much, if not more. Castiel was downright _hot_ right now. Lips all red from the kisses and bites. Hair sticking to his forehead a little. The obvious tent pressing at the front of his pants. White shirt half-hanging around his waist.

“Damn Cas, where did you learn that?” Dean licked his lips, still tasting their kiss. Oh yes, he could get used to this. A predatory green gaze was suddenly settled on his angel at the thought. “C’mon Cas. If you can kiss me like that, I’m sure there’s more that you know…”

“I… I wanted to know, Dean. What to do once I asked you for the bond.” Castiel’s cheeks darkened at the confession.

The elder hunter lifted an eyebrow. “Ask me _what_ about the bond?”

“If we could complete it. It… We must consume for it to happen.”

Dean blinked, surprised but understanding what the angel meant. “So… We need to fuck?”

Castiel made a sour face at the word. “It’s deeper than a simple ‘fuck’, Dean. It’s a bond of love.”

“Yeah well, I get it. And yes.” When the angel blinked down at him, relatively confused, he rolled his eyes. “Yes, Cas. I want it. I want to bond with you.” Castiel’s lips suddenly curved up into a smile and Dean lied back, tugging at his clothes. “Let’s just get naked already, it’s – _Cas_!”

Angel mojo was one thing Dean had always liked. When Castiel used it to make their clothes go away, he was almost grateful but sheepishly – _yeah_ he had to admit he was shy to be naked in front of Castiel. And in a way, he would have liked to get Castiel out of his clothes himself.

“I’ve seen every inch of you, Dean. I built you, inside out. Don’t be shy,” the angel said before leaning down, pressing a kiss against Dean’s mark on his arm.

A soft tingling suddenly ran beneath Dean’s skin, starting from the mark and spreading all over his body. “I-I know man, but it’s – aah!”

Castiel’s hands moved down on his hips suddenly, causing the hunter to forget what complaining words he was about to say. Their naked arousals brushed together, leaving them moaning and jerking, forcing more friction between them. Dean’s hands reached up and mingled in the angel’s hair, bringing his head back up so their lips could brush together.

A soft whispered word in a strange language was murmured by Castiel, something that Dean didn’t understand. But the hunter was too lost in the heat of his best friend now lover to really care or ask what he had just said. Castiel slowly moved his hands down on Dean’s thighs, spreading them apart, their breathing increased a notch. They weren’t scared anymore, just anxious and eager to finally be what they should have been from the moment Castiel had pulled him out of Hell; two halves of a whole.

Castiel’s fingers brushed against his lower back and massaged there for a moment before pushing in, gently at first. One made its way inside half-way, then fully. Dean gasped, closing his eyes, feeling the heat spread on his thighs and in his stomach. There was something different about this. He had girls play with him before; it wasn’t the first time someone went that way during sex. The way Castiel touched him, so careful and yet with such insurance, left Dean trembling.

When a second finger inched its way in him, spreading his skin and insides apart, he rocked back against the touch, a soft cry worming its way out of his throat. Castiel’s name followed soon, a whispered plea, a hushed prayer, not fully spoken but fully understood by the angel. Then a third finger was added, and Dean thought the world couldn’t feel hotter, not even when in Hell. It was so overwhelming that he arched off the bed, his cock brushing against his taut stomach, leaking freely on his skin. If Castiel didn’t fuck him soon, he would explode, he just knew it.

“Cas… Cas, _please_ ,” he finally begged aloud shamelessly, breathing hard. “I _need_ … I _need_ you, Cas.”

He was whining so pathetically that he should feel ashamed, but right now, Dean didn’t give a flying fuck about it. His pleasure was sky high and the object of his desire, the one and only who could give him what would make him happy for the first time in his life, was in front of him, at arm’s length.

Castiel knew it and he wished only to please. Removing his fingers, the angel moved until he was leaning over Dean. He lifted the hunter by his hips, positioning himself against the stretched opening and pressed inside, every inch of his cock splitting the skin apart with ease and without pain. The lights in the room flickered around them before going out and all that remained on for them to see was a faintly shining light surrounding them.

Dean looked up through half-opened eyes in amusement at Castiel but couldn’t really focus much longer than a few seconds before the world exploded in front of his eyes. Castiel rocked his hips forward, burying deep inside him and nudged at his prostate, sending a sudden of pleasure through his limbs. A cry rose in the hunter’s throat, one that didn’t die out after the second or the third thrust. His voice raspy and irregular, Dean cried out as he felt Castiel’s presence inside him fill his body and own him, and not only the physical one.

The presence only became stronger when Castiel’s hand suddenly pressed on his arm where he had left his mark. The mark sizzled beneath Castiel’s palm but didn’t burn. It didn’t smell like smoke or fire. It was like something warm and hot was passing through them, transferring from one to another as they consumed their love through the intercourse. Keeping his hand on the hunter’s arm, Castiel used his free one to hold on Dean’s leg, leaning it against his side as he kept on thrusting inside him, knowing they were both close to their release.

Aside from a few grunts and panted words in Enochian, Castiel remained silent and breathed fast, his eyes never leaving the hunter’s face. He couldn’t look away, even less when Dean finally reached his highest peak and released all over his stomach, his blue eyes flashing with dim light, like the one surrounding the angel. It was bathing Dean as well, from his toes to his head. Castiel wasn’t too far behind, the hand on Dean’s arm never dropping as he came, the hunter’s name making itself visible between the Enochian words.

The light around them faded. Aside of complete silence, the sound of their heavy breathing could be heard in the room. They stayed still until Dean groaned, reaching to Castiel’s neck, brushing his fingertips against it.

Suddenly, it hit Dean. A wave of emotions he felt coming from Castiel, the pain from Dean’s rejection and how the hunter had blocked him of late, nearly threw Dean off balance. His hands tightened behind the angel’s neck, dragging them closer until Dean was able to find the words to express himself.

“I’m sorry Cas,” Dean whispered, brushing his lips on top of the angel’s hair. “I didn’t know.”

“Dean, you don’t need to be sorry,” Castiel chided, moving his head until they were looking into each other’s eyes. “We are bonded now. It’s all that matters.”

Dean smiled and brought the smaller man up for a warm kiss. The sensation of fullness and completion had never felt so good.


End file.
